My talks, divided into four parts, plus an epilogue, can be purchased individually, by part, or as total series depending on your group’s interests.
Part 1: Growing Up
Session 1: Infancy (age 0-2)
How do we change from a small set of reflexes at birth to language, our uniquely human act? Does loving care during babyhood determine our lifelong ability to love and when does our ability to love first come out? What gets 6 months old to sleep through the night and what do young babies really understand? I’ll answer these questions and many more, in this riveting road map through the miracle first two years of life.
Session 2: Childhood (age 3-11)
Preschoolers live in a different mental space than the rest of us. At around age 7, we think like adults. First, I’ll penetrate the alien crevasses of the preschool mind, then immerse you in the challenges of elementary school. By the end of my exploration into childhood’s two phases, you will understand why three- year- old’s think their dolls are alive and believe in monsters and realize that our human lust for status, group bonding, and bullying are a natural byproduct of realizing that to succeed in life we need to work.
Session 3: The Teens
Are teenagers really more emotional, more depressed, and more impulsive than the rest of us? Is puberty happening earlier and does when you develop physically affect your later mental health? When really do our first sexual feelings occur? Who is most likely to get into trouble as a teen? Join me as I sift through the myths, and share surprising scientific truths about adolescence, which only became a life stage less than a century ago.
Session 4: Emerging into Adulthood (The Terrific Twenties...and now Thirties)
Fifty years ago, we had to get married, have children and-if you were male- lock into a life career by the mid-twenties. Today, these transitions happen in the 30s and may not happen at all. Why is having enduring relationships more challenging today and why is it especially difficult to settle a career? Why are young people more reluctant to have children and how does the challenge of finding our adult identity occur? After outlining the shifting landscape of today’s twenties, and exploring its causes, I’ll end this talk by getting you to think more deeply about that important question. What does it really mean to be adult?
Part 2: Growing Old
Session 5: The Aging BODY -
Surveying the Landscape
How has life expectancy changed over the centuries and why is the U.S. losing ground in the longevity ranks? Why do women out-survive men and what is our human timetable for having problems physically getting around? At what age must we all die and are there proven strategies to extend life? In this fact packed lecture, I’ll go beyond the hype to provide a panorama of physical aging as it really occurs.
Session 6: The Aging BODY -
Focus on Frailties
In this more practical talk, I’ll concentrate on physical impairments, the problems handling daily life that happen closer to age 80, not 65. How can people change their homes to adapt to these changes and what are the options if they need to move? I’ll go beyond the glossy brochures to outline the pluses and minuses of senior housing and continuing care communities. I’ll explore the downsides (and pluses) of living with your children. I’ll provide a checklist based on your unique priorities to evaluate the old age action plan that works best for you.
Session 7: The Aging MIND -
Surveying the Landscape
How does our thinking change as we get old? Are there basic shifts in personality when we reach our final years of life? After spelling out the ways we get better intellectually (in addition to getting worse!), I’ll decode the ways we change and don’t change as people as we journey through life and argue that, while our core self remains the same, our world view changes in fascinating ways as we reach old age.
Session 8: The Aging MIND -
Focus on Memory and MCI*
Here I’ll focus directly on that feared change— memory loss. I’ll give you a full picture of what normally changes for the worse and doesn’t change much memory- wise as we age and explore which memory challenges are especially hard and easy at any age. Based on my decades scanning the whole picture, I’ll argue that the traditional advice to do new mental exercises to keep our mind well- tuned is probably wrong. I’ll convince you that standard neuropsychological tests of cognition seriously minimize the intellectual potential of older adults. My goal is to give you a different perspective on Mild Cognitive Impairment, that frightening condition I was diagnosed with almost a year ago!
* Mild Cognitive Impairment
Part 3: Big Questions in BEING HUMAN
Session 9: Intelligence
In this talk, I focus on the standard I.Q test. What does it measure? How is it used? What are its biases? Where is it incomplete? Then I turn to two basic types of intelligence and outline how they change during adult life. I’ll explore the research showing at what age we are most competent career-wise and outline the forces that predict saying competent in a career until old age. By the end of this session, you will really understand exactly what those mysterious intelligence tests test, and, I hope, think more deeply about what it really means to be an intelligent human being.
Session 10: Personality
When does our basic personality style come out? What are the keys to handling your child’s temperament and managing your unique personality to have a successful life? How do we change as people as we move from childhood to old age? Is there a such a thing as an ideal personality, do we really get more mature with age, and do our priorities shift in predictable ways as we get old? Accompanied by hands on exercises, this talk tackles that fascinating question: “How much have I changed as a person since childhood, and, how can I expect to change as I journey through life?”
Session 11: Happiness
This session focuses on that all important topic: happiness. After decoding the meaning of that elusive term (What really does it mean to be happy?), I’ll explode the standard myths we have about what produces a happy life. Then, based on the core qualities scientists know actually produce happiness, I’ll give you exercises to make your life more meaningful, just like I’m using the scientific research to improve my own life!
Part 4: Connections
Session 12: Pals (Friends)
This talk makes sense of the puzzle of friendship in a comprehensive way. You will learn to classify the kinds of friends in your social circle, understand how friendships change from early childhood to adulthood, and target the four core qualities we expect from friends at every stage of life. I’ll alert you to situations when we tend to lose friends, and offer concrete tips for finding new friends and keeping old relationships. I’ll look at how male and female friendships differ, explore the communication mistakes we make in relating to friends, and point out why friends are especially important during adulthood today. I’ll give you a new framework on finding success in this core relationship that I hope you can use as you travel through life!
Session 13: Partners
How have marriages changed over the centuries and what is happening to that fundamental relationship today? After a brief global and historical tour, I’ll identify two different types of love and decode how each changes over time. I’ll carefully outline the danger zones in relationships and give you concrete steps to help you stay “in love” for life. This talk goes beyond the platitudes to provide a clear eyed, science- based perspective on our human quest for enduring love.
Session 14: Parents
In what ways have our ideas about childrearing changed over the centuries and what forces have produced today’s helicopter mom? I’ll first outline the total turnaround in our ideas about how parents should behave, and then tackle five myths we still have about motherhood. Next, I’ll look at how mothers and fathers really behave. Do dads act differently? What makes men most involved? Is it really important to have children for a fulfilling life? Stay tuned for answers as I penetrate the truth about parenthood today.
Session 15: Professions
In this wide-ranging talk, I’ll first outline the remarkable 75 year turn around in work, from the traditional nine- to- five career to today’s gig economy. I’ll describe a well- respected theory designed to help you choose the career that fits your talents, and -very important- outline the kinds of workplace conditions you should look for that produce happiness at work. I’ll end by focusing on the special issues faced by women and older workers in grappling with the challenge of having fulfilling careers.
Epilogue
Being Human: A Whirlwind Tour
This fast paced talk hits the highpoints of my journey into life, scanning everything from our remarkable life-expectancy gains, to our developing brains, from our babyhood agendas, to our new ideas about adolescence, adulthood and old age. It’s a ted-like snapshot into being human, lasting under a half hour!